Spiderman 1-10 Now

The European Vacation Peter goes to Europe. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Mysterio, a man who uses drone illusions to fake being a hero. It’s a massive step down from Homecoming , featuring a love triangle so awkward it hurts. But the hallucination sequence where zombie Iron Man punches Peter? Genuine nightmare fuel.

The Lost One The only film on this list that doesn't exist yet. Delayed endlessly. Rumored to be three hours long. Will Miles save his dad? Will Gwen’s dad quit the force? Will we ever see it? The legend says that if you stand in front of a Sony Pictures building and whisper "Canon event," a producer appears and delays the release by another month. Spiderman 1-10

Here’s to Spider-Man 11 —may the web never break. The European Vacation Peter goes to Europe

The Emo One We don’t talk about the finger-guns. We don’t talk about the jazz club strut. But we must talk about Topher Grace as Venom. This movie is a beautiful train wreck. It gave us the single greatest meme template of the 2000s. Is it bad? Yes. Is it entertaining? Like watching a live-stream of a dumpster fire. Emo Peter’s hair deserved its own spin-off. But the hallucination sequence where zombie Iron Man

It has been twenty years since Tobey Maguire first caught that tray of cafeteria food, and in that time, Hollywood has done what Hollywood does best: milked the radioactive spider for every last drop of web-fluid. We are now somehow living in a timeline where there are ten mainline Spider-Man movies. Not ten good ones. Ten of them.

The Skater Boi Reboot Andrew Garfield brings the quips, the skateboard, and the chemistry with Emma Stone that could power a small city. Unfortunately, he also brings a mystery about his parents that nobody asked for. The Lizard looks like a rejected Power Rangers villain, but Gwen Stacy’s brains save the day. For now.