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Their neural queues (which looked suspiciously like iPhone charging cables with plastic tentacles glued on) dangled toward each other.

He never told a soul. But the file name was now permanently seared into his retinas, a 3D SBS ghost that no amount of Bluray clarity could ever erase.

Leo paused the video. The SBS image froze on a frame of Drake Chully tangled in his own queue, Neigh-tiri giving the camera a bored, thousand-yard stare. This Aint Avatar 2010 XXX 3D SBS 720p Bluray X264 AC3

Leo deleted the file. Then he emptied his trash bin. Then he restarted his computer just to be safe.

The screen went black. Then, a pixelated, lime-green legal disclaimer appeared: “The following film is a parody. No Na’vi were harmed in the making of this motion picture. However, several foam latex puppets were irreparably stained.” Their neural queues (which looked suspiciously like iPhone

Suddenly, the Colonel appeared. Not a parody. The actual Stephen Lang’s face, poorly green-screened onto a different actor’s smaller, less intimidating body. “We have to torch the sacred grove!” he yelled at no one. “The blue cat people are… consolidating!”

“You cannot just take the unobtanium, Drake Chully,” she purred, her voice dripping with faux-mystical seduction. “You must… connect. Through the sacred queue.” Leo paused the video

The first thing he noticed was the budget. It wasn’t zero , but it was clearly spent on three things: 1) A single, re-used LED-lit cave set. 2) A lot of blue body paint. 3) One very expensive, very confused animatronic horse that looked like it had seen things.